How to Demonstrate Strong Emotional Intelligence in an Interview

Introduction to Emotional Intelligence

Hello! It’s Kristine here with the Express to Impress podcast. This week, we’ll explore emotional intelligence, a topic that has become increasingly important in the workplace and during the interview process. Specifically, we’ll be looking at how to demonstrate strong emotional intelligence in an interview. 

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Now, let’s begin!

What is Emotional Intelligence and Why Do Employers Value It?

So, let’s start by talking about what emotional intelligence is. It involves recognizing your emotions and those of others and being able to manage your emotions. Emotional intelligence is a bit of a superpower, really! With strong emotional intelligence, you not only recognize the emotion you feel but manage it, so you shape the other way people perceive you. It can seem a bit like manipulation. But ideally, when a person recognizes a negative emotion in themselves, they ask, “What caused that?” Or “Why do I feel that way?” Then, they deal with the issue at hand. So when that’s happening, it’s not really masking difficult emotions. It’s truly dealing with them effectively. 

While emotional intelligence has always been around, it caught momentum after Peter Salavoy and John Mayer gave it a name in 1990.  And of course, interest in emotional intelligence in the workplace skyrocketed after author Daniel Goleman published the popular book “Emotional Intelligence” in 1996.

It may seem obvious why employers would want employees that can manage their emotions. But let’s take a quick look at what emotional intelligence can help us do at work.

• Coach and motivate others
• Resolve conflicts
• Build collaborative teams built on trust
• Be resilient when others criticize our work or ideas

Since employers want emotionally intelligent employees, it’s natural they would look for it during interviews. I tell all my clients that your interviewers and everyone you meet at the company need to like you. They need to feel that they would want to work alongside you on a team. Keep in mind they will be assessing your emotional intelligence in every interaction–from how you greet them at the start of an interview to the stories you tell in your interview to observing how you act towards others.

In the story section of today’s episode, I’ll tell you about a mistake many of my clients make when preparing for interviews, which makes it hard for an employer to assess their emotional intelligence accurately.

Story About Emotional Intelligence and Interviewing

Believe it or not,  some of my most prepared clients struggle with showing emotional intelligence in interviews. Let me explain. Some of my clients show up for mock interview practice with me with a long list of questions to practice together and detailed scripts of what they intend to say. 

When I ask these clients interview questions,  it’s obvious they’re well-prepared. But their memorized answers sound inauthentic and robotic.  Sometimes, I ask a slightly different question from a question they prepared for, but the clients typically still give me the same answers. Obviously, their answers aren’t a good fit for the questions I asked, but they don’t know how to adapt to the new questions.

The reality is that interviewers don’t like hearing memorized answers. They want to have real conversations, feel like they are being listened to, and of course, they want to know the person’s true English level.

When this happens with a client during a mock interview, I urge them to throw their script out the window. While I encourage preparation before an interview, it’s better to identify points the candidate wants to mention to likely questions and stories they will share. But scripts almost always make a person appear to have lower emotional intelligence. 

I also try to understand why a person wants a script in the first place. If they have anxiety about interviews, I help them manage their nerves more effectively and develop a pre-interview routine that will help them arrive relaxed. If they feel insecure about their English speaking skills and a script makes them feel more confident, I remind them that employers want good communicators first and foremost. English skills are second on their list of priorities.

Your Native Language Doesn’t Determine if You’re a Good Communicator

Many native English speakers are terrible communicators! Yes, that’s right. They interrupt others, don’t listen well, ramble, don’t get to the point, and don’t ask clarification questions when confused. Yet, English language learners can be excellent communicators even if their English skills aren’t perfect. 

Now that you know to avoid preparing scripts for your interviews, let’s look at some more practical tips to show emotional intelligence in an interview.

Tips to Show Emotional Intelligence in an Interview

Keep in mind that how emotional intelligence is defined, interpreted, and valued varies somewhat from culture to culture. These tips are intended for an interview with an American.

Be Present and Authentic. 

Give eye contact and listen carefully to your interviewer. Then, comment on what they’ve said or answer the question they’ve posed. Keep in mind that your interviewer will also be assessing your ability to socialize naturally. So don’t miss the opportunity to socialize at the beginning and end of the interview.

Effectively Manage Your Emotions During the Interview.

While most people will not have to endure a stress interview, most applicants feel significant stress, even when talking with a patient, approachable interviewer. Your emotional state will be evident in the tone of your voice, your ability to control what you’re saying, your body movements, and more! Managing your emotions during an interview starts with regulating your thoughts and behaviors leading up to the interview. I recommend two episodes for tips on managing your emotions before and during an interview: How to Give Effective Presentations That Don’t Bore Your Audience and How to be confident in an interview. 

Admit your weaknesses and mistakes. 

While questions about your weaknesses and mistakes may make you feel uncomfortable, talking about these things and what you’ve learned from them will allow the interviewer to get to know you and trust you. 

Talk About Your Feelings and Emotions.

Share how you are feeling during the interview and your past experiences. Show it not only in your words but also in your tone of voice. Here are some examples. 

I can’t tell you how happy I am to be here today to talk to you about working at Patagonia. I’m an avid hiker, and I’ve shopped at Patagonia for years.

I was laid off last year during the height of the pandemic. I’ve always had steady employment, so I took it really hard at first. I missed the work, my co-workers, and the routine of going into the office. But after about a month, I had a new routine. I enrolled in some online classes, and that’s when I discovered my passion for coding.

Ooh. That’s a tough question! I’ve never considered that. I just need a few moments to gather my thoughts.

Ask Questions to Uncover the Company Culture. 

Asking thoughtful questions will show you care about joining a company that shares your values and where there’s a healthy culture. If you need a refresher on what questions to ask to learn about the company culture, I recommend my podcast episode, How to Uncover the Culture of a Company.

Tell Stories That Demonstrate Your Emotional Intelligence.

You will likely hear many behavioral interview questions during your interviews. You will be asked to describe how you behaved in situations in the past, which will help the interviewer predict how you might behave in the future. Behavioral interview questions often start with the phrase, “Tell me about a time…” The stories you tell will reveal much about your emotional intelligence. So, be ready to tell stories about when you resolved a conflict, coached and motivated others, and helped to build a collaborative team built on trust. Tell stories that demonstrate you have empathy, handle criticism well, share a different opinion with a superior in an appropriate way, have uncomfortable conversations such as when sharing negative feedback, handle high-stress situations, and speak up. 

From the previous episode, 8 Takeaways About US Business Culture: Erin Meyer’s The Culture Map, you may remember that Americans sandwich negative feedback between positive feedback. So, for example, if a manager is sharing negative feedback with an employee, they tend to give a compliment, then share negative feedback, and then end with something positive. However, it’s appropriate and expected in some countries like Russia and Israel to provide negative feedback and disagree directly. But that same behavior would likely be perceived as an American as lacking emotional regulation, so you would want to keep that in mind when selecting stories for your interview.

Now you’re all set to demonstrate high emotional intelligence in your next interview!

Succeed With Interview Coaching

I love helping talented professionals convince employers they are the right person for the job. People perform best in interviews when they arrive educated about the interview process and have had opportunities to practice answering interview questions. So, I educated clients about the process, help clients identify questions and answers, and of course, deliver their answers powerfully.

Here’s a recent review from my client Rose:

Working with Kristine was very insightful, helpful and helped boost my confidence in interviewing. I was able to confidently interview for a position with NASA for a highly competitive position. Through the one-on-one coaching and mock interview practice, I performed magnificently in my interview. The NASA hiring manager told me that whatever I did to prepare for the position had paid off and truly showed my professionalism.

To see pictures and more testimonials from my clients, visit my website at express-to-impress.com. 

If you have an interview coming up, I would love to work with you and help you achieve interview success. You can schedule a free consultation or book a mock interview with me on my website.

English Language Learning 

That’s all for today! Thank you so much for listening to the Express to Impress podcast. I invite you to tune in next time to learn definitions for the idioms and phrases covered in this episode. 

And if you found this episode helpful, please remember to share it with a friend! See you next time. Bye!